Money is never an easy topic to discuss whether married or contemplating marriage. It is a topic that is rarely discussed, prior to marriage, yet it should be for the following reasons.
- 1. Marrying someone who spends money irresponsibly can wreak havoc on family finances after marriage or
- 2. Marrying someone with a great deal of debt can prevent both partners from making any major purchase such as a house or a car, after marriage.
Unfortunately, love is blind and most of us ignore or fail to see the impact of each other's habits on marriage until after marriage. The habits we bring to marriage, are habits that we have acquired over time. Each partner within the marriage handles money differently. It is a rare occasion when two people entering marriage have the same spending habits. When the spending habits of each partner are different, it becomes imperative to reconcile the differences to prevent money from becoming a point of contention in the marriage.
Usually there is one partner who is far more capable and often wiser in the handling of money than the other. The partner who is financially savvy will most likely be the one to handle the disbursement of money within the marriage. However, both partners should be actively involved in the discussion of money and the financial state of the marriage, at all times.
Making a budget and committing to follow it can be a tremendous aid in preventing heated arguments and stress in handling money within the marriage. Both partners should be able to discuss how, when and where money is spent, determine what is left and how residual money, if any, is used and for what purpose. Any money entering the marriage should be shared, regardless of who brings home the
the bigger paycheck. Ongoing discussions of money in marriage should always consider the following:
- 1. What each is to contribute to the household expenses
- 2. Setting up a joint bank account for the household expenses such as bills and the necessities for every day consumption, allows each partner to know where the money is being spent
- 3. Monitoring the budget at least once a month to make sure that there is enough money to take care of all household expenditures and other necessities
- 4. If necessary, determine how much each is to spend out of money left over each month for personal items and place that amount in individual accounts.
- 5. Discussing and setting goals as to what both partners want out of the marriage and working on one goal at a time by setting money aside to accomplish it
- 6. Setting up a savings account for the marriage can come in handy during tough times and emergencies
- 7. Making it a priority for both, to live within available means. When possible, make major purchases only when they will not place a strain on the budget
- 8. Setting mutual goals to achieve in the marriage. For each set goal, make sure it is achievable without placing a financial strain on the marriage
- 9. Resisting the urge to live like the Joneses. The Joneses may be in far worse shape financially than you are
- 10. Paying off credit cards and paying cash for purchases, whenever possible. If a credit card is absolutely necessary, keep only one for emergencies and pay if off, preferably at the end of each month or as quickly as possible to eliminate or cut down on finance charges. Keep it at a low or no balance, just in case, an event occurs that impacts the financial state of the marriage.
It is virtually impossible to plan for every setback or event that may occur, that effects the marriage, financially, but by planning and working together any financial setback can be rectified with time. Handling money in marriage requires commitment and compromise on the part of both partners. Discussing money on a regular basis keeps both partners on the same financial page. When both partners are aware of the state of finances within the marriage and are spending responsibly, the discussion of money should no longer be a factor of contention and making plans for the future of the marriage will be a lot easier.
